i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Lo siento on account of my penis...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
