question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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