I wanna passion pit in your ass
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
