i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
