went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
