you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
