I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
