I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
