...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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