On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
