Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
