Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
