You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
