since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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