you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
