wanna go halves on a baby?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
