We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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