how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
