just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
