bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
