my shit smells like andre
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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