I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
