Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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