he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
