i just wanna soil my oats bro
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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