I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
