I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
