cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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