Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
