So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
