Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
