Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
