look no pants
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
