Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
