it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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