i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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