Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
