And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
