Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
