I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
