Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
