I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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