never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
