I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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