after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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