I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
