we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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