Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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