I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
