ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
