Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
